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Search Results 0 to 7 of about 8 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Nov 27, 2012 11:30pm PST
kiss our economy good-bye. because we will all be going over -- >> that fiscal cliff. >> fiscal cliff. >> fiscal cliff. >> that dreaded fiscal cliff. >> stephen: yes, the dreaded fiscal cliff. an unavoidable money will technology the razor-sharp financial rocks below. it all started back in 2011 during the showdown over raising our debt ceiling when republicans wanted spending cuts and obama wanted to raise taxes. which led to a budget crisis that congress solved by not solving it. (laughter) instead, they handed it over to something called "the supercongress" which couldn't fail because it was super. (laughter) unfortunately it was also congress so it failed. (laughter) and as a result -- (applause) as a result -- (applause) as a result, folks, we are facing another thing called sequestration which at first sounds like rationing the amount you can watch "sea quest." (laughter) but it's even worse than that. (laughter) sequestration is automatic spending cuts that both sides agree would trigger a new recession. it's like congress put a gun to the economy's head and swore it will pull
Comedy Central
Nov 20, 2012 7:00pm PST
because it's a long shot in in this economy any job is a pipe dream. (laughter) ask yourself this: what's more likely, that you'll eat a poisoned apple and awake to the kiss of a charming prince or that your english degree will land you a second interview with staples? (laughter and applause) either way you're going to share an apartment with seven roommates. (laughter) so what does justice sotomayor think is a good career. i'll give you one guess. >> do you have a car rear? >> yes, i do. i am a united states supreme court justice. >> okay. than i know what a rear that i want to have. >> what's that? >> career! order in the court! >> oh, abbey, i think you'll make a great, great judge. >> sure, tell little girls to become supreme court justices. never mind that in the court's 220 year history only four women have reached the bench. meanwhile, eight different american women have married princes. (cheers and applause) and that is not even including the eight women who married larry king. (laughter) dare to dream, little girls. (laughter) besides the job of princess and supreme court justi
Comedy Central
Nov 26, 2012 11:30pm PST
a record $59.1 billion. >> stephen: $59.1 billion. folks, i'm sure that's good for the economy. but frankly i'm worried that black friday is being ruined by commercialism. (laughter) nowadays it's all about how much you're going buy. what deal you're going to get. whatever happened to trampling people for the love of the game? or just-- (cheers and applause) or just experiencing the pure child-like joy of throat punching an old lady over that last $20 dirt devil. well, you know i guess i'm old-fashioned. now folks, justice may be blind but i'm not. i'm pretty sure she's wearing spanx under that robe. this is judge, jury and executioner. tonight, folks, copyright law. the supreme court is currently considering the case of supap kirtsaeng the wile ya song, it a textbook copyright case in that it is a copyright case about textbooks. jim. >> mr. kirtsaeng in 1997 moved from his native thailand to attend cornell university. textbooks are sold in thailand for just a fraction of the cost. so he gets his family and friends to buy those textbooks in thailand and guess what, ship them to him in corne
Search Results 0 to 7 of about 8 (some duplicates have been removed)